Today is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday

We sat by the fire. Sawdust and ashes were scattered around or even swept in the air, making the scenery around us even more magical. Having bonfires close to the sea was one of our favourites, especially if it was served with cold beers, sometimes with sweets. No waves could be seen and the sun has set a few hours ago. Thankfully, blackness has been intruded by the light of the fire, so we could see each other faces when we were talking.

“And how we ended up being 40…” said a blond woman named Jane, sitting next to me “it seems like years rushed when we had the time of our lives, but they only left us with memories, good or bad. It’s a shame that we haven’t still managed to create an alternative to a typical time machine. Oh, how I wish that I could live my childish years like forever or when I first entered college having no clue at all what was waiting for me at the corner…”.

“But still, you managed to go through all of this, without getting stuck, without losing valuable time. At least, you are one of those people that do not need to worry about what’s coming next, right?” Tom replied directly to an imaginary, hypothetical question of her.

“What makes you feel so nostalgic? Life comes and goes, that’s its natural circle and you should better accept now that you can” he continued.

“But what has made you feel this way?” now I was the curious one “is a happy moment that you are missing right now that can’t be compared with your present, is somebody beloved far gone and you can’t find contact? Maybe that feeling of incompletness that have reached you in your 40s?

“I may go for the last one, it sums up all the rest. Because, there were few happy moments that I had the chance to enjoy to the fullest, imporatant people, not many but counted on the fingers of both of my palms, that I wish I could say a word with them, even a 5-minute will be ample. Or take the risk when it was worth the feeling, or travel when my program was free and I was young with less worries in my head.”

“Do you know why most of the time, if not always, you didn’t come all the way to those things?” I told her.

“Why is that?” she asked.

“Because you used to repeat one word when somebody or even yourself might have come to question those choices” I replied.

“And which is..?”.

Later” I responded and I turned my eyes up to the night, full of stars, bright sky.



Believe me when I’m saying…

I’m stuck. My mind doesn’t work as I wanted to be and I feel that I have lost my way. Plans about getting that job in the future seems unreachable. How, when, should I, can I, would I…. questions , simple as that, wander inside my head.

I’m stuck, I told you. At first, I thought it was easy, to do this and that, and follow the rules. The rules. But life does not go with the flow, cooperate with your present to fulfill each one’s dreams. It’s funny saying this when you reach your mid 20s and you feel like your time has been wasted to things, once important but nowdays seem more than meaningless to you.

One day I wanted to make my own bucket list, like traveling there, doing this, completing that certain level in my life. I grabbed my computed for my own comfort and wrote down what I would like to do by the end of that year, how I believe my life should or may roll on until I got 30. To be honest, I have almost forgot where I have saved that document, so I decided to revise my expectancies once more, before applying it to the time – shelve.

I’m stuck but I still have faith and I wonder. That one day, I would be reading those words without despair about who am I and where I am going. Ah and also, I would have published my own book. Yes, one with a proper title and my name on it. And if I could be better in English, you may come across it one day.


First double zero

Today I opened
my application on my smartphone, just to read the news and maybe get notifications for emails I was waiting for. So, along with my daily news, this image came up.

I tried to count backwards to the very first day of my writing routine and how I got here in almost a month and some days. For someone, this number could not be worth mentioning, but it is the beginning of the next level for me. As for that, I would like sincerely to thank each blogger and reader that gave it a try to my posts and also found it interesting enough to eveneave a comment! I will do my best for more.