As I booked my airplane ticket to return, I took a breath and stole a moment for silence. No anxiety, no worries, no talking in my head. Just, emptiness, entire black in my rainbow painted mind. This ticket was not only the way back to my beginning. It was the result of overnight talks, wanderings in the street of London along with cans of beer to quench our thirst. Why, when and what were some major things that needed to be answered.
“Why do you have to go back? Things are far worse than ever back in homeland?” my friend used to tell me.
“Because things could change from a year to the other. Also I need to go back, watch the sea, breath fresh air, relax, and ease my mind.”
“When do you plan to come back? Time is valuable and you are getting older and older, you are never going to get it back.”
“It might be because of all this pressure, it could be the result of endless attempts to get used to the way of life in North England. But I have to considered it well if I want to persuade a life away from sun and, obviously, the approach of life. Life at its fullest means doing what thrills you”.
“What could you possibly do better there? In three months that you will feel better after the completion of your studies you should better be here, to seek, to hunt for a job, a house, a better place to be”.
That was the time I got myself in a double proposition situation. Dilemma, better say, divided my thoughts about my present and the not so far future. What could I possibly make better here than there? Better during the rainy days than the sunny and warm mornings?
And suddenly, I heard rain drops falling on my window to wake me up from my dreaming. The pc screen indicated than everything was ready. I had to fly and fight back home.