Daily drops vs Sunny wind: the dilemma of immigrant youth

As I booked my airplane ticket to return, I took a breath and stole a moment for silence. No anxiety, no worries, no talking in my head. Just, emptiness, entire black in my rainbow painted mind. This ticket was not only the way back to my beginning. It was the result of overnight talks, wanderings in the street of London along with cans of beer to quench our thirst. Why, when and what were some major things that needed to be answered.

“Why do you have to go back? Things are far worse than ever back in homeland?” my friend used to tell me.

“Because things could change from a year to the other. Also I need to go back, watch the sea, breath fresh air, relax, and ease my mind.”

“When do you plan to come back? Time is valuable and you are getting older and older, you are never going to get it back.”

“It might be because of all this pressure, it could be the result of endless attempts to get used to the way of life in North England. But I have to considered it well if I want to persuade a life away from sun and, obviously, the approach of life. Life at its fullest means doing what thrills you”.

“What could you possibly do better there? In three months that you will feel better after the completion of your studies you should better be here, to seek, to hunt for a job, a house, a better place to be”.

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That was the time I got myself in a double proposition situation. Dilemma, better say, divided my thoughts about my present and the not so far future. What could I possibly make better here than there? Better during the rainy days than the sunny and warm mornings?

And suddenly, I heard rain drops falling on my window to wake me up from my dreaming. The pc screen indicated than everything was ready. I had to fly and fight back home.

From the cape to the pipe

One of my favourite games when I was a kid, was to play a role of different hero. Doesn’t matter their powers, as long as I didn’t have to be Superman. For some kind of reason, I did not feel that much respect about the Man of Steel, this overpower formation did not feel right to my personality.

On the contrary, I was fond of characters with less power but greater will and a curious mind of a detective. Batman came to fill the missing place at first. The dark and mysterious creation of Bob Kane and Bill Finger was revealed to my childish eyes from the 90s animated TV show. I can still remember myself  watching one of the most well-known comic book hero with no super powers, as they used to say, but with great detective abilities, fight the crime. Didn’t need to much to persuade my mother to buy me a cheap costume of Batman, that ended with me dressed up more like a cat and less than a bat.That didn’t stop me from expedition from time to time in the neighbour’s garage, who didn’t seem right to me, until he moved to another city. I might have managed to find the truth but he got away right on time.

Spiderman was another hero, less dark and more humorous even the field of battle, but again with a sharp mind. That geek who was offered the gift to climb on walls and got a fit body for free,resulted in another greater ambition in my life. Unfortunatelly, I had some problems with wall crawling but I hoped that I could get lucky as he was. I even tried to like spiders, still remember writing in school notebooks how cool animals are. That’s how much I tried.

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And from the years of immaturity,  Sherlock Holmes came during my golden years in university. I know, most teenagers get the chance to explore the detective of Sir Arthur Conal Doyle very early, especially with the story of “The Hound of the Baskervilles”. I decided to start reading each piece of his adventures before the successful bang of the series “Sherlock” that made my love about the characted stronger.

When finally, we come to nowdays.Away from university and being a youngster, I still find my self wondering about what MY powers might be. Hours and hours in the gym haven’t given me Batman’s  and Spiderman’s symmetrical body. Hope I obtain some experience  But I know that I do not need to Pretend to be somebody else.That was just the begginning of something special, even though it might not be designed and depicted in a comic book.

How I imagine you every sunset

Lost in the colourful sky as the sun sets away to the sea,  a mesmerizing view of a rainbow that is gonna give its turn to the upcoming night. Until the next morning.

Fearless in the joy

Dear myself,

after another demanding period  in my life,  I could surely agree with the fact that,  we, specifically young people tend to underestimate our personal strength after the first falling. We, and those that are coming after us, are blessed with technological miracles that have broaden our horizons and changed our general perspective about others.


Then, why people still fear one another and seek for approval in the silence? Why sometimes do they feel more inaccessible to those they care the most? And why do they Panic more easily at each tough occasion?

Those questions I am trying to answer, myself. But how?

Thinking generously

Have you ever thought about that period of time that you may have found yourself in a tough position, wishing you were lost in a bad dream and somebody is gonna wake you up? And eventually, your wish came true and now, you have almost left every piece of it back to the past.

Until another demanding occasion might knock on you door and a similar scenario could appear on your life cinema, that white screen that displays your most colourful moments

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Now take a moment back and think.  Did you approach with the appropriate respect and generosity the fact that you survived, sometimes mentally or physically or could be even both affected.  Nobody has the strength, the spirit or, being lucky enough, the chances that might have been offered to you. You don’t need only to feel proud at that time but embrace it when it is possible. We, people, usually forget to remind ourselves how we end up where we are, feel generous and learn from our mistakes. Generous about a present we fight voluntarily  in order to enjoy now. Ourselves. Don’t forget it.

One year ago…

Well, it’s been almost a week since I came back, having finished with all my duties as a “grown up scientist” in another land full of prosperity. And now, I am lucky enough to enjoy my freedom while my anxiety about “what’s next” tries to overcome. But look where I was a year ago.

One year ago… I didn’t have a clue where I will be, how my life might change, what kind of chances might come on my way. For sure, life never comes with a certain plan, even if you try hard, right? That also makes it beautiful and enjoyble, with its ups and down, smiles and cries, the falls but the stand ups.

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One year ago… The use of another language in my daily routine seemed mostly an enterttaining though, but also pretty intensive, I might say. You see, confronting people and making friendly relationships with fellas from a different country than the one you lived in most of your life until now, shall push you forward to your personal growth. Going out, university tasks, programm managing, following different daily habits wasn’t always an easy task. At least, in the beginning.

One year ago… I was  a grown up with a childish mind (well hidden at the most) which during this period faced challenges different from the one he was used to.

One year….Here and Now. The sun is shinning bright over another island in Greece.People going around with their luggages, rollers making noises as they are being crawled around the gates. I, having my bags close to my seat, observe the sun shining over the blue of Aegean sea. London is way back this time. This one year has changed me forever and I will keep on getting better day by day.

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